Funny Dog Quotes: Canine Humor to Make You Bark with Laughter

Funny Dog Quotes: Canine Humor to Make You Bark with Laughter

Did you know that dogs are as smart as a 2-year-old child? They can understand over 150 words, but I bet they’d be masters of humor if they could talk. Ever wonder what Fido might say about your choice of shoes or the mailman’s shorts? Get ready to unleash some belly laughs with these funny dog quotes and whimsical canine quips. Just wait until you see what we’ve dug up for you!

Best Funny Dog Quotes

Paws for a moment and imagine your furry friend with a mic, what would they say? Funny dog quotes are the essence of their playful spirits, expressing humor that’s universally tail-wagging. These quips, often originating from amused dog owners, capture canines’ silliness through derpy or clumsy behaviors. And the best part? They’re a howl for all ages of dog lovers to enjoy!

Here are 10 Canine Comedies:

  • “I hope I can be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.”
  • “My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $1.79 a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.”
  • “If your dog doesn’t like someone, you probably shouldn’t either.”
  • “Money can buy you a fancy dog collar, but only love can make a dog wag its tail.”
  • “I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”
best funny dog quotes
  • “Outside of a dog, a book is probably a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
  • “My dog can bark like a congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary, and play dead like an intern.”
  • “Cable news is like owning a dog that gradually learns to talk.”
  • “Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.”
  • “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”

Could be something you’re into: “140+ Cute Dog Quotes & Sayings for Every Puppy Lover”

Short Funny Dog Quotes

Need a quick giggle or a zesty caption for your next Instagram post? Look no further! Short funny dog quotes convey instant amusement in just a few words, perfect for sharing with your social pack online. These snappy one-liners capture our pups’ unique perspectives, complete with puns and observational humor that uplift the mood and spark laughter in 1-2 sentences max. Get ready to unleash the fun!

Here are 15 Canine Catchphrases:

  • “My dog’s only flaw? He can’t make coffee.”
  • “Why buy a bed when your dog has already claimed the couch?”
  • “My dog thinks ‘fetch’ is just a suggestion, not a command.”
  • “In my house, the dog’s snore is our white noise machine.”
  • “I work hard so my dog can have a better spot on the bed.”
  • “My dog does a great impression of a floor mop when it rains.”
  • “The best vacuum for dog hair is a dog’s mouth. Nothing else gets the crumbs faster.”
  • “My dog’s favorite bone is in my arm.”
short funny dog quotes
  • “Who needs an alarm clock when you have a dog who really has to go at 6 AM?”
  • “My dog’s motto: If I fit, I sit. Especially if it’s on your laptop.”
  • “Eating alone is a myth when you have a dog staring you down.”
  • “My dog’s idea of a workout is chasing his tail and then taking a nap.”
  • “I tried to teach my dog to fetch the remote. Now he just changes the channels.”
  • “My dog thinks ‘stay’ is just a casual suggestion.”
  • “The only ‘leash training’ my dog understands involves leading me to the nearest treat.”

Funny Dog Quotes For Instagram Post

Ready to make your Instagram followers howl with laughter? A well-chosen funny dog quote can be the perfect complement to that adorable picture of your pooch. Engage your audience and express Fido’s quirky personality through humor that’s both lighthearted and playful. We’re talking relatable experiences packed into short, attention-grabbing quips, because who doesn’t love a good doggo giggle on their feed?

Here are 10 Canine Captioned Cutlery:

  • “Living my best leash life. #DogMomLife”
  • “If you think I’m cute, you should see my dog. #Pawfection”
  • “Barking up the right tree because it’s finally Friday! 🐾 #TGIF”
  • “My dog does this amazing trick where he just exists and makes my day better. #Blessed”
  • “Squad goals: me and my dog. #PartnerInCrime”
funny dog quotes for instagram post
  • “My dog’s hobby: pretending he’s never been fed. Ever. #DramaKing”
  • “Just a pup and her human, making fetch happen. #SoFetch”
  • “Who needs a therapist when you have a dog with endless licks? #TherapySession”
  • “My dog’s bark is worse than his bite, but his cuddle game is strongest. #CuddleBug”
  • “I told my dog we’re going on a walk. Now I can’t find him… or my shoes. #HideAndSeekChamp”

Funny Dog Quotes From Movies & Films

Cue the popcorn and paws, cinema’s fictional pooches have left us some funny dog quotes that are simply iconic. From sarcastic quips to deadpan deliveries, these lines from movies and films reflect our love for pop culture with a tail-wagging twist. They lighten the mood, provide comic relief, and enhance the entertainment value so much that you can’t help but quote them over and over again. Get ready for a reel of canine humor!

Here are 15 Celluloid Canine Quips:

  • “She’s got these lashes and big eyes, and when she walks on to the set everybody just says ‘ooh.'” – Greg Kinnear about Jill in “As Good As It Gets”.
  • “It’s not really a dog. It’s more like a little robot. It displays no emotion whatsoever.” – John Mahoney on Enzo the Dog in “Frasier”.
  • “I will not ‘let the dogs out.’ I will not ‘let the dogs out.'” – Bart Simpson in “The Simpsons”.
  • “Or what? You’ll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?” – Homer Simpson in “The Simpsons”.
  • “There ain’t no way you can lose at the game of love when a Chihuahua is on your team.” – “Lady and the Tramp”.
  • “You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!'” – Dave Barry.
  • “If you want the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog.” – Jim Croce.
funny dog quotes from movies films
  • “Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.” – Franklin P. Jones.
  • “Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window.” – Steve Bluestone.
  • “We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet – so we bought a dog. Well, it’s cheaper, and you get more feet.” – Rita Rudner.
  • “What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job.” – George Carlin.
  • “If aliens are watching this through telescopes, they’re gonna think the dogs are the leaders.” – Jerry Seinfeld.
  • “What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.” – Rodney Dangerfield.
  • “A dog is the greatest gift a parent can give a child. OK, a good education, then a dog.” – John Grogan.
  • “Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative.” – Mordecai Wyatt Johnson.

Funny Dog Quotes from Literature & Novels

Literary tales have a special way of wagging into our hearts, and funny dog quotes from literature and novels are no exception. They portray the dog’s perspective on our human world with wit that endears us to these furry protagonists. Each observational quip contributes to character development and evokes a sense of nostalgia for those childhood reading adventures we cherish. Ready for a walk down memory lane with some paw-some narrators?

Here are 15 Literary Canine Laugh Lines:

  • “Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.” — John Peer.
  • “Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend.” — Corey Ford.
  • “Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one.” — Robert Benchley.
  • “Dogs are my favorite people.” — Richard Dean Anderson.
  • “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” — Dean Koontz, from “False Memory”.
  • “All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. For after all, he was only human. He wasn’t a dog.” — Charles M. Schulz.
  • “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” — Will Rogers.
  • “If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.” — Woodrow Wilson.
funny dog quotes from literature novels
  • “People teach their dogs to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.” — Mitch Hedberg.
  • “When you adopt a dog, you have a lot of very good days and one very bad day.” — W. Bruce Cameron.
  • “We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet – so we bought a dog. Well, it’s cheaper, and you get more feet.” — Rita Rudner.
  • “Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.” — Unknown.
  • “I named my dog ‘5 Miles,’ so I can tell people I walk 5 Miles every day.” — Unknown.
  • “Be the person your dog thinks you are.” — C. J. Frick.
  • “There’s a saying. If you want someone to love you forever, buy a dog, feed it and keep it around.” — Dick Dale.

Dog Best Friend Quotes Funny

They say a dog is man’s best friend, but what if your furry sidekick was also the king of comedy? These dog best friend quotes are not just funny; they’re pun-tastic expressions of unconditional love sprinkled with humor. Celebrating the unique quirks and shared experiences between you two, each quote strengthens that paw-fect bond and evokes laughter while warming the heart of every dog owner and animal lover out there. Get ready to chuckle and nod in agreement!

Here are 15 Canine Companion Comedy Gems:

  • “The road to my heart is paved with pawprints.”
  • “He’s not just a dog; he’s my happy hour on four legs.”
  • “If my dog doesn’t like you, I probably won’t either. His judgment is always spot-on.”
  • “Life is short. Spoil your dog.”
  • “Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend never owned a dog.”
  • “My dog does this amazing thing where he just exists and makes my whole life better because of it.”
  • “Dog hair is just part of the decor in my house.”
dog best friend quotes funny
  • “My therapist has a wet nose.”
  • “In dog years, I’m dead.”
  • “I work hard so my dog can have a better life.”
  • “My dog’s only flaw is not living forever.”
  • “If you’re uncomfortable around my dog, I’m happy to lock you in the other room when you come over.”
  • “Dogs are like potato chips, you can’t have just one.”
  • “My dog is the only one who understands my need for random dance parties.”
  • “The more people I meet, the more I appreciate my dog.”

How to Capture Your Dog’s Funniest Moments?

Capturing your dog’s funniest moments can be as delightful and entertaining as the antics themselves. To ensure you’re ready to snap that perfect shot or record a video when your pup is at their comedic best, here are some tried-and-true tips.

  1. Keep Your Camera Handy: Dogs don’t wait for photo ops! Have your smartphone or camera within easy reach so you can capture those impromptu performances.
  2. Understand Your Dog’s Schedule: Dogs often have predictable patterns of playfulness. Pay attention to when they’re most active—after meals, during walks, or right before bedtime—and be prepared.
  3. Play to Their Personality: Each dog has its quirks; use toys, treats, or games that bring out their silliest side.
  4. Use Natural Light: Outdoor lighting makes for beautiful photos and videos without the harshness of a flash that could startle them mid-frolic.
  5. Stay Patient and Go with the Flow: Don’t force it—wait for natural moments rather than staging them, as this captures their true spirit.

Remember to focus on funny quotes, and captions full of humor to accompany these images when sharing online, the combination will undoubtedly make people smile! And if your pooch does something particularly hilarious but you miss recording it? Jot down what happened! A funny anecdote paired with an adorable picture from another time works just as well for sharing the joy dogs bring into our lives every single day.


In the end, it’s the funny dog quotes and pawsome punchlines that remind us of the joy our canine companions bring. Whether they’re from films, books, or your own home videos, these snippets celebrate life with a furry friend. So why not share a chuckle? What’s your pup’s latest comedic gold?

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